I have the next three days off. I requested today off because I won’t be off on Thanksgiving and so my mom threw an early Thanksgiving today. My brother, my cousin, his wife, their kid, my aunt, my uncle, and my mom were at this. It was overall pretty nice. I still always feel a little out of place because I’m significantly different from most of them. My uncle and my aunt who were there (very affluent people), spent a lot of time telling stories of their own success but also of how to be successful. It was more about how you can achieve your dreams and live the life you want to live. I wasn’t totally receptive to it because money is a huge factor in that (something they have never struggled with) coming to fruition. They don’t seem to understand the limits of barely having any money just living in your current situation, never mind having any way of saving money in order to do something drastic like move far away to a place you want to live.

I’m a pretty idealistic person so I never really meet my own standards. I have come to love myself though and I am proud of the person that I am now. I still always want to improve myself. I do want to become more disciplined in pursuing my passions such as writing, hiking, drawing, reading, and meditating. They did make a good point about how your thoughts formulate your reality. I already knew this to be true but it was interesting to actually hear that from older adults. It’s very true that what you think about and how you feel about things completely creates your perspective on life and the choices that you make. It’s hard to try to keep away negative or self-limiting thoughts but it helps to at least become aware of them and try to reduce them.

I have always been obsessed with the idea of balance in general. In this context when they were talking about these things I agreed with their general point(s), but then my mind was kind of questioning it too. I am definitely careful to never completely open up to someone else’s advice for how I should live my life, because no one knows that better than you do.

I found myself being skeptical of the people these words of advice were coming from. The reason for that is that like I said before, they are rich and they have *never* had problems with money. Therefore, anywhere they want to live or any life they want to live is realistically available. When you don’t have to struggle to financially survive things must be really different. I found myself questioning the source because these two really have no idea what it is to have a difficult upbringing, a lack of money, a lack of income, huge amounts of debt, serious family problems or mental illness, etc. I don’t completely absorb what they say because they have never had to really overcome any serious difficulties. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want because money is not a problem for them. So when someone like that tells you that you can definitely and very quickly move far away and achieve your dreams, I can’t take it seriously. They are leaving out a lot of details and the many roadblocks that get in the way when you don’t have any money to spare.

It also makes me question their motives because they were giving this advice to my brother and I without us asking for it, and of course they are coming from a place of viewing themselves as successful and living a great life to be the ones saying these things to us. They kept referring to their own lives and the only problems they’ve had is which house to live in and what location, how to sell a few of the houses they already owned in various states, etc. Their reality is entirely different from my own. I don’t like when people preach like that extensively because it’s also assuming that you need this information and that they are above you. It’s very ego based when you analyze it, although on the surface it looks like it’s coming only from a place of caring. I’m not saying they don’t care, I’m just saying I know the real reason(s) behind their fixation on constantly talking about their successes and possessions, whenever I actually do see them.

To me honesty and being humble are qualities that I value the most in other people. Being around my aunt and uncle and listening to their stories actually made me miss my dad and my other uncle. The two of them have more obvious personality flaws and can be really harsh, but at least they are sincere people. I know without question that when I’m taking to either one of them that they are down to earth and there is no bullshit involved. They don’t fake things and are brutally honest. I prefer that because insincerity is a deceptive trait and it’s often used to manipulate others. I also know that my dad and his brother grew up in near poverty, and have had many struggles to overcome in their lives. I take their advice or words of wisdom much more seriously because I know they are street smart and know a lot about life.

I’m trying not to judge my aunt and uncle but they kind of make it easy. They are people that I’d prefer to only see once every few years like it has been. They could never truly understand me and I could never truly understand them. We’re like a different breed of people almost. I’m trying not to by cynical or skeptical. I know this post may come across that way but really I’m just highly analytical when it comes to people, their personalities, their motives, etc. I can’t really help it. It was an interesting experience none the less, and at least the content of what they were saying was very positive and encouraging.

When I left I didn’t feel energized or like I was going to be able to change my life from what they said or something, because I have my own thoughts and feelings and I trust those more than anything else. I guess what I would prefer in terms of receiving positive conversation/advice is a balanced exchange between people that talks about the good things in life and in people, and where the people would exchange their thoughts and feelings about things like philosophy, art, music, etc. That would feel honest to me and balanced because it’s not done in the attempt to “teach” someone else and it’s not coming from a place of perceived superiority. People should treat others as equals whether or not they have different circumstances, are in different economic classes, or just have different upbringings. I do believe all people and living things are of equal value and that no one is truly above or below anyone else. We all just have very different experiences and backgrounds and thus we become different people who live different lives. At the core of it all we are all the same and we are all one.